I feel that I am stuck. I need to say you that, if you think you need to know everything, you can’t. It’s impossible. (very short post, but that’s it!) There is always a book what you need to read and always something what you don’t know. But you not need know everything, but if you know “everything” you get advance about your “enemy”. You need to get sometimes state of mind when you know better your “enemy” than they know themselves. But yeah, you need maybe people like me to guide you and I need people to guide me, but I give you the golden nugget, don’t trust everybody, I found that many people who is near me try always hurt me and their did so. Everybody. But nowadays I can spot assholes very quick. But getting this kind the state of mind I needed to letting people hurt me and very hard in my past. Maybe it is the nature order if you are the nature born leader, people will attack you, like alfas in animal kingdom, they always need to prove their strength to take combat with another who wants power what you have. As I said I am not sure that the alfa or even the Lone Wolf is same as me.
I just started to think I am maybe just that Lone Wolf, which is stronger than any alfa. I don’t know. I started to think that alfas are people who people listen and who people start follow, I always think it is not me, but I think I am terribly wrong with that, I am Lone Wolf, stronger than alfa. People wanna follow me when I start to talk and share my wisdom. That maybe sounds cocky but there is pattern and based on my observation of my own world. I always think that I am not a leader but I think nowadays that I am – and I am also super strong sometimes, I don’t know.. I don’t think that I am the leader. But I saw sometimes that people start to follow me and acting like that I am the leader. But yeah I hate authority and I fantasizing Lady Dominas and see the strong woman other women and I want be submissive for them but my psyche doesn’t last to be under the control in long run. Maybe I am more leader than I think. I start to listening book by Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last, and started to get bias by cognitive biases, “maybe I am leader too”.. ;D
How you do anything it’s how you do everything – Buddha