Thinking

I just listening an audio-book of The Bulletproof Diet of Dave Asprey. It’s worth of reading and makes you think what you eat. And I thought also what my former doctor said by my hormones, that I should reduce, which was very bad to said so. I remember that, she said, “You will take a risk?”. There is side-effects but what I benefits I get, those influences very positive way of my life. Makes me feel good in my body and those hormones also signals to my brain, that now everything is just perfect in your system. I was also that surgery which they modified my pussy, now I feel I am completely a woman, specially when I get aroused I feel my clit and my pussy feels different when they operated at the first time. I feel good in my body maybe first time of my life, it is very nice feeling. My new doctor, my gynecologist writes me new prescriptions of anti-androgens and DHT-blockers which feminizes me more and helps estrogens to go my body-parts, like prevent hair-loss, increase hair growth. reduce hair-productions of my body. Makes my faces more feminizes, and which is a huge social thing and crucial for every transgender-woman to feel accepted fully who you are. Okay, I think I am very aware what I look a like, like a typical woman. I care that I look like a woman, and people see me as a woman. It’s makes me alive and gives me a strength to be who I am. It is very frustrating to explain your sex, that you are a woman too if you are in women’s bathroom etc. So I am now very grateful that I have contact for gynecologist who is my side, not against me. It feels often that whole world is against to me, and I need to fight to everyday, and it is very heavy thing to do.

Yeah I feel now how hard is to be human who is hated to be what you are. It is very hard and anybody doesn’t wheel so what I felt. My therapist made my mind place which is place which demonstrate a good childhood, and kind a place where I am fully accepted just who I am, and my subconscious mind want that I feel with people who I surrounded that I am fully accepted who I am. My former friend was poisonous person, and I didn’t feel accepted fully who I am. I don’t want be surrounded people who not accept me just who I am, or at least makes my existent funny thing. “Man, oh, sorry woman…”. Or I need to “beg” that he accept me fully who I am. I started to felt that is not true being with him, and it influences everything of my life, like I not accepted of my self. Also he was very manipulative and use manipulate tricks for me. Some was okay, but there is a lot which was not okay, and makes me act like a robot. Just what Tai’s advertises do, they influences in my decision center and make me act against my will. Every advertise does, also music, also people around you have got influence of you. And yeah, Cialdini book called Influence; influence the psychology of persuasion tells those mind trickers and also you can find those in The Poor Charlie’s Almanack too.. Maybe if I remember correct also Mankiw’s Principles of Economics tells that people reacts “something”. But I need to get that book when I get my car first on the road and start to recovery of lost of my army.. My money.. I need them to protect me, just what you do in chess, your the most important piece is a king, so you must first make that your king is safe. And if you play poker with short stack, you need be extra careful how you play with those chips. You can’t go all-in bad cards which had got bad odds, or your not sure win or lose game which where you are involved. Like Sun Tzu said, you must know yourself and your enemy before you can be confident to start to battle. You win most of time when you know yourself and your enemy. Just what happened when I beat the alcoholism, the enemy was that alcoholism, I study everything how I will beat that enemy, and also I study my weakest point.. Now is also what Sun Tzu speak, that great victory is won battles without fight.

Rose-Pussy told where she live. I decide yesterday that I need escape for her, she feels that I getting so horny and starting to lose my sight to my “ball-game”.. You know keep eye on the ball.. There is now two balls, two rabbits.. Confucious said: “The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither”. He said also this gem too: “Respect yourself and others will respect you.”  … So avoid poisonous people and if Rose-Pussy loves me, I think it might not interrupt of my game, maybe help me. And I try also to avoid to falling in love, but I feel also I have Amor arrow in my chest, and that sweet “poison” moving in my veins.. So here is gem for you, let beautiful people polluted your soul, your inner-self, and feel them poison, or “poison” in your veins.. They will nourish of you..

This is very beautiful quote of Confucious: “Give a bowl of rice to a man and you will feed him for a day. Teach him how to grow his own rice and you will save his life.” . This is what Tai Lopez do and I try to the same. And you need to do the same too… Teach what I know, someone who needs to help. I do not understand how money works, Tai does, so listening him. And also I need listen people like Mankiw, Munger..

And more Confucious: “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” .. and more “The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” And this is too the great one: “Your life is what your thoughts make it.”. This is also the great one: “The man who says he can, and the man who says he can not… Are both correct.”

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