Ivan Turgenev First Love

“I would have given everything in the world if those lovely little fingers had only consented to tap me on the brow. My gun slid down on the grass, I forgot everything, I devoured with my eyes that slender waist, and the neck and the beautiful arms, and the slightly ruffled fair hair, the intelligent eyes and those lashes, and the delicate cheek beneath them….”

“My heart was fairly leaping within me; I felt very much ashamed and very merry: I experienced an unprecedented emotion.”

“everything about it was so delicate, intelligent and lovely. She was sitting with her back to the window, which was hung with a white shade; a ray of sunlight making its way through that shade inundated with a flood of light her fluffy golden hair, her innocent neck, sloping shoulders, and calm, tender bosom.—I gazed at her—and how near and dear she became to me! It seemed to me both that I had known her for a long time and that I had known nothing and had not lived before she came…”

“I felt as much at my ease as a fish does in water, and I would have liked never to leave that room again as long as I lived.”

“her lips still smiled as mysteriously as ever, her eyes gazed somewhat askance at me, interrogatively, thoughtfully and tenderly …”

I know that gaze.. how it feels. My ex-wife..

I was my Lolita’s first love, she was lesbian, super hot.

Was was.. I try to think to start those Tai Lopez thing but I need let go Everything.. I can’t..

Mind is not mine too, there’s 60000 thoughts per a day. It’s kind a flow.. I call it bees.. they really can fuck you up if you listening your thoughts. It’s like being gardener, if you cultivate negativity it increases and dominate you. You are not your thoughts, you are what you think, so think carefully.

There’s what I learned by billionaires, or paid over 5000 dollars, that you have all what you want your life. Everything is here and now, you don’t need anything. All what you own is it your karma, you get what you deserved. I am deserved all that. I am so grateful. Life is now. This moment is what I have, only what I own is karma. Basically is it you get what you deserve..

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