I wrote petvert shit on online conversation platform. I get aroused talking with female trolls. I don’t know.. it’s only my imagination. school girl, and I am old fart, a teacher. .. Whiskey helps me. I think Bukowski did this to me. You know, scotch colored skirt girl, being my pupil.
This is forbidden thing, drinking whiskey, Jameson. Nobody likes that I drink. I think it’s my life. I am more artistic now and older also. I don’t know.. Charles Bukowski really is like a good whiskey or something. You drink it, it’s changing you, you become Charles Bukowski. Not maybe one on one but very near. I love everything about him. Similar like me many ways.
I think my friend doesn’t manipulated me. My mother also manipulated me similar way. Or maybe I don’t remember. I have huge ego.
I need live. Try to live. I was like a dead many years. Solitude years. But now this solitude thing really kills me. I need pay a price. Little by little try to reach out people.. live. My friend is the best.