The Urgency

I watching Tai Lopez new program and it’s increase feel of urgency, I want that, but I don’t have money. It hits in my sub-conscious-mind, in my decision made center in my brain. People buy things based on feelings, not logic. So I need be aware with that. I use tactic which I learned by playing poker. I try hit when I have the good odds on my “poker hand” and also thinking that I do not push that I get trouble.

I made couple of purchase by just based on feelings and I let it happen. It feels good to buy, everybody likes it. But those money were my treats, entertainers like others money are my army to protect my car.

And Rose-Pussy… She is like the Coke. She made me a lot of urgency.. She is like the good product which I just want. I want “buy” her. I think it is the similar situation like I want buy Tai’s program but I don’t have money now. I am like the Pavlovian dog.. I have bad urgency and I want it so much.. But I need to be focused and be tough. Maybe Rose-Pussy is an opportunity cost.. And what my father once said when we play Tennis and Badminton also “Watch the ball. Keep your eye on the ball.” . But the Pussy-Farm… She loves the idea.. But that idea is something what I love.. My desire..

But I need money. I need to be focused to become rich..

Being in margin

I just saw trans-girl who uses drugs on dating site. It is sad. I was hc-drinker, also Diazepam-addict – narc. I have childhood trauma too Lot of shit. Lot of fights. Being me. I will gave Tai Lopez name for everyone who wanna learn something very valuable.

I am also here to teach you. It is way to learn better and maybe the best way to learn is teach that for someone.

I found yesterday that what I learned by Tai Lopez too that music is manipulator and very powerful. I tested to change at my device to repeat to Classical happy music. It’s made me calm and happy and my mood shifted and I was more relaxed and it was also effect my social-phobia better than motivational music, like Scarface’s Push It To The Limit. It also help me a lot, but makes me more risk taker and fighting mode and makes my heart bumping – and but my focus straight to the target. But now when I was feeling scare I listened something which makes me calmer and my fighting mode was gone and I was more relaxed and my blood-pressure also maybe reduced. I articulated with people much more calmer and relaxed because of music which made me relaxed and happy.

So I will teach and spread Tai Lopez for everyone… And I do it for FREE. Because I care of you. I know what is that being rejected what you are and what it feel than your own mind is also your worst enemy. If you are poor, read my blog and go for and find Tai Lopez free stuff and if you got money purchase something; I highly recommended that you start the 67 steps. It was helped me very much. Maybe I will choose next Acceleration: Money. – course but it costs.. And I try first purchase Mankiw’s Principles of Economics.

I am just the perfect human-being

I realized that I need be grateful for me, being me. I have got two wonderful women in my life. They are now gone cos I didn’t love my self. I try now, fucking my mind to saying that I am enough, I love me. I am worth of loving. Two lesbian. Three. And I saw also beautiful trans-girl and I realized that I can love trans-woman too. I need be self-lover. Like my mysterious woman, Rose-Pussy, Miss Perfect Pussy, asking me do I fuck my-self? And I read some of Nina Hartley’s book, which she said that masturbation is self-loving.. I need do that, because I am worth of damn..

I also though today my missed opportunity by Tai Lopez. I listened people to speaking their un-secure tomorrow and I can literally say that school system does not work. It’s like Tai Lopez said of him letter, giving hundred dollar to restaurant and hoping that you probably get meal. It is the hoax or doesn’t guarantee nothing.. I am not as I write that afflient Tai Lopez but I offer powerful word of mouth, if you read this start with the 67 steps and test him program. You can read also my blog if you ever find that.. Maybe I try promote this site.

I gave my mother advice to managing herself, because she is now retirement. The idea is being your own boss, writing your goals, tasks day before on paper. If you not say you what you need to do, someone will. Human default mode is being just like your dog, admiring and just being where are you, doing nothing, so manage yourself, write your day on paper and do it. Put your goals, tasks on paper and watch that paper everyday. I put here my basic day, which is training, reading, cooking. My goals are I will be Female-Entrepreneur Business-Woman, Business-Person.. Pro-Athlete.. Master-Chef.. Yeah, I will be also Multi-Billionaire. I give you a hint, put your goals so high that you can go to stars.. People mimic what she/he admire.. Mimic billionaires and you will be billionaire. Trust it! It’s true!

I read book by Helen Keller, The World I Live In, where she said something like inner world is as true that world what you see. She was blind. She describe her world in that book and that is so life changing.. What you see inside are as true as what you see.

I also hate Finland trans-gender’s miss-handling. If people feel their sex is not what they feel in their brain, that is medical situation which need help immediately. I go throw to hell with my gender dysphorias and I went real suicidal when I get help. Okay, today is more tolerable environment which is was when I go out in my closet. But I need also anti-androgens because my body doesn’t produce that, I don’t have natural hormone produce.

I also get very beautiful book called Lohikäärme jolla oli keltaiset varpaat by Kuura Autere; which is in English The Dragon Who Has Got Yellow Toes by Kuura Autere, which is the children book which tells story of intersex-dragon. I am not sure my gender so it’s very beautiful book who thinking them gender – the key take-away is how you feel yourself it is the key. You are as good as how you feel your gender. Loved and hoped child anyway. Yeah, be You! You are enough!

I lost an opportunity

Tai Lopez offers a lot of cool stuff which works. I procrastinated him latest opportunity, but true reason is that I am a poor and my stack is not so huge to hit the thousand in the game. And also I am not sure my game. I know, I have an idea to marketing him for people who have nothing. It is very helpful for me to listening him programs. I gladly tell that what he teach to me really works. But if you find my page and go for Tai Lopez, I get nothing, but you can change your life. You can read my blog and follow my journey to poverty to riches.

But yeah I am not good at social media and I don’t yet know how I get money, but I will. You need the growth mind-set, which is certain that you think everything is possible. That is so true, we are animals, just like apes, we learn things in repetitions. Like what athletes do, you need do reps, like Arnold Schwarzenegger.. If we want learn a new skill, it takes time and lot of reps. Book called Bounce is very good which tells in science that everything is possible, you only need reps; practice. I recently read, books, Relentless, The One Minute Manager, Gorilla Mind-Set, The Happiness Hypothesis , You Are Bad Ass by Jen Cincero. Also Macig Thinking Big. I save money to buy The Principle of Economics by Gregory Mankiw . I have all my money to ready to fight that I get car on the game again. It’s very expensive to keep car, but car is also gives me leverage. But I am little bit bitch of my car also, cos it eats money, but without car I were lost opportunities.

Also my reading list is books: Crossing the Chasm: Marketing and Selling Technology Projects to Mainstream Customers.. And Sam Walton: Made In America; Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience; Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable; Little Red Book of Selling: 12.5 Principles of Sales Greatness.. and I read this book also: The Richest Man in Babylon; it’s true game changer; because it’s just change my understanding of money permanently; I building my own Babylon, and I see my money as my figures, as a soldiers, servants.. etc.. I play kind a game, strategy game like The Civilization, The Chess, Poker; Warcraft, Monopoly, Sims, Command and Conquer.. But now many my money is here to protect me like that the car-game, I need to pass it to the annual-car-condition-test and now there is something wrong and I need to fix-it and I delegate it, because I don’t know how to solve that problem. This also what I need to think, how to delegate task for others. I can hire people to do things what I cannot do. It’s a good business to invest in a talent. I do that to let others fix my car. I need help with my social media, maybe I need hire a social media assistant, or a social-media-manager.. It’s lose-lose game for me because it steals my focus and make me a slave and I do not like that. I don’t like looking constantly my phone, I can hire someone to do that for me, maybe Phillippino girl.. I can give her money and she can help me and my money can help her. You need read also Jack Welch book called Winning.

Also I am so thankful for Tai Lopez for concept of making books your friends. I have very good friend called Poor Charlie’s Almanack by Charlie Munger. Tai Lopez teach me to picking golden nuggets from books and having time with that book. I read that book and now we having good time together. Our school system teach we hate books and read whole book, but that is not that what you must. Having good time with an old-friend and go back time-to-time.. Like that girl, Rose-Pussy, I like read her “book”. I were read many times. Also of course my ex-wife, I purchased her to my home and I spent lot of time with her. Spending time with book it is like having good sex with your wife or your girl-friend or you can also having good time. So with books, just open a book and get there something..

Myself

I thinking being me. I am trans-person, but I am woman, because I went that process through. My brain identifying myself as a woman, and I am woman also without an uterus. But fighting everyday being yourself is very hard. Maybe AA. surrender is the key? But I don’t know, it’s not fit in me, I need fight and not given up- I am little bit given up myself and I feel so bad, so I need change how I speak with myself and be me. Love myself and be myself. When I was in lesbian party with without hear and with men clothes, people see me as a woman. It’s wonderful feeling. And when I said that I scared that am I pass those who guard to entre, she don’t understand what I speak. But now I feel tiny and that I need to fight, fight, fight.. Go to female bathroom, go to everywhere. Taking those bullet’s which is my favorite quote of Scarface. And Scarface is my favorite movie btw, very inspirational and lot of encouragement quotes and life lessons.

“Go ahead! I take your fucking bullets! You think you kill me with bullets? I take your fucking bullets! Go ahead!” – Tony Montana

“You think you can take me? You need a fucking army if you gonna take me!” – Tony Montana

“You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!” (Tony shoots) – Tony Montana

What you lookin’ at? You all a bunch of fin’ assholes. You know why? You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fin’ fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy.” So… what that make you? Good? You’re not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don’t have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There’s a bad guy comin’ through! Better get outta his way!

..

I just thinking myself. I don’t like say myself that I am trans, I went throw that process and I am woman. If I don’t tell my background people think that I am woman.If I tell told my background they put that trans-classes on and see me as a trans, and if I do so, I see myself as a trans. I feel that I am woman, or also I am sure also whole gender thing cos, I think it is more a construct and slavery-system for women to be in a stereotype form. If I born like a normal baby girl, I thought that I was more boy girl than girl girl.. There is also Harvard University’s post for that trans-gender is in your brain, you have got similar brain as your sex, that’s why transgender person feel trapped their body.

What comes from sex, in animal-world there is no stereotypes. You are what you are. So fuck long-hairs, etc..

You are the best, you are the Black Ninja

There is no stronger than you are, you can do everything what you want. I hate Alcohol Anonymous the first step where you need to admit that you are finished or something like that. There is many sayings that when you think you are finished you are then finished. When you think you will win that fucking alcoholism or Diazepam-hell, you will. I also decided to beat that poverty too. I think which method I use with fighting with alcoholism and Diazepam-hell, I think that I can. You can’t say human who fighting with cancer that you are finished, just give-up. You need give her/him hope and if she/he is fighter, you need cheer he/she to that you can beat that.

I though that I was finished if I think that I was finished, but I think that I will beat alcoholism, Diazepam-addiction, and I did so. I know I get people angry to me if I say that AA the first step is bull-shit. It is bull-shit for me, because I think different, I am more warrior, more the Black Ninja, who will fight. Become to stronger than the enemy, studying everything that enemy and kill that enemy. Like Sun Tzu said, you know your enemy and yourself and then you can win battles. When you become more stronger than enemy, the enemy never attacks anymore, because you know everything about your enemy and yourself. You need become so strong that there is no possibilities to fight with you, if they fight they will lose.

I think it is a philosophical thing to thinking so, and also very logical because if you wanna achieve something you must learn everything and start from scratch, like filling an empty class with water. I was read a lot of books, and I just felt like I have learning curve which growth. I think it is the best advice which I get from Tai Lopez to read a book per day. You get knowledge which clues your self, become instinctual from you. I becoming the Beast, the Black Panther, the Tiger, the Black Ninja who becoming stronger everyday and who will beat that poverty, I will. I am not finished yet, I will win that poverty and I become the rich.

Because baby, you are what you think, and you become what you think you are. So think big, think you are already there and baby, you will. One more step.. Step by step. You will getting better, stronger, wiser. Don’t give up, everything is possible. You are unstoppable, and there is no stronger than you are. You are winner, you are the Best, you are the Black Ninja, you are what you think you are.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I’m so lonely

Today is Finnish traditional day, which is the midnight sun celebration or something like that. People are with their loved ones and I sitting my sofa, a fan gives me air. My ex-wife is now someone’s else, and she probably happy. And I don’t get contact that Rose-Pussy, who seems be very very attractive in many ways. I feel that I can’t feel someway for any girl right now. I am little bit rush on her. I don’t know for sure that is she what I really looking for, or she is the right woman, which by the way, Tony Montana at Scarface said, that with the right woman, you go to the straight to the top.

She seems to be very sweet, and she asked her titties, that she said, these are not good, but I love those. I love everything with her. I can suck them all-to-time. People watch that porn and thinking that everybody should look like porn-models. It’s insane. Read sexology folks and generate making love skills. And use your imagination. I get disturbed by pornography and I went more wanker or something like that. And now when I not consume pornography, I am more horny and want eat girls fresh pussy and more sex-driven. And I want action. Intimacy. There is one girl too and many others but I feel that if I play with other I might lose her or something like that. I just can’t, and that Rose-Pussy maybe it’s okay to having sex with other’s but I feel little bit rush with her. I like her and I don’t wanna lose connection.

I lost that my former relationship, with my ex-wife, I thought that I can be just friend with other girls and I get rush with someone and our relationship get deepened and me and my ex-wife’s relationships get wrecked and we get disconnected. I have also Diazepam addiction which steals my brain and I went in hell. When I get recovered those pills I found that my ex-wife is gone. With someone else. This very heart breaking situation. Lost someone who you really love with someone stranger. My brain get mess past two years with our relationship and plus one year to fight off that benzo in my veins and my brain get normalize.

I remember things with those last two years but those are very foggy. I can’t get those years back, I can’t say sorry to her how much I hurt her. And I not get responsible my things what I did. Everything was my fault. Not her. I was too shy and I was also too weak with my social-situation-phobia. I am transgender also and I scared a lot being me. It’s very frustrating. I was very beautiful and many said so. I was too touch with myself. I don’t see myself beautiful, but I hear a lot that I was. I don’t really trust that..

I remember my ex-wife sitting my lap and I say her everything is alright. But that is only memory. My ex-wife got lot of problems and I was always with her. Being here. But when I get sick and go to the benzo-hell it was my battle and I was alone. She run a way and left me. My it was only way to let me die. But I was died inside when those pills take ya. I was not myself anymore. When I get addiction those, I lost myself completely. There is no me anymore. I was shell. I died inside. It was true hell. My alcoholism was too. But the benzo-hell is too much for her. I no doubt that. I died inside, it was like dementia or something like that. I think I need love my self too and much. I am enough and I am important. Maybe when I feel I am enough an I love myself I can see true love with others. Maybe I not felt her love to me and I do not let everyone to love me because I didn’t love myself. I try love myself. It is hard but I really try.

The Little Though

It poppep in my mind. I read a book by Managing Yourself; which tells you that you need 18 month time-frame. And I also finnished Tai Lopez 67 strps, which comes from that human develop a new habit in that time from on ca 67 days. And I played chess and I started to win a.i. when I decided to concentrate to the end game. And now I read a book 7 habits of highly effective people and recently read book the magic thinking big and maybe there is a plenty of books which mix my brain and I get an idea of everything what I learned. You need think like a chess-player and a poker-player in a mixture, you know. When you think like a chess-player, you need concentrate the end-game, see how you come to win the game. Maybe it was a book called Nine Things Successful People Do Differently by Heidi Grant Halvorson which I learned putting your goals on the paper. And friend of mine also teach me that when you see where golf-ball go before it go, it will go to the hole or very near. When you see the end game. I played very winning poker when I saw myself as a tournament winner, I see myself in the winner and playing well in the final table and so on. Now I put on the paper, the clean house and I start to vizualize in my head to how that happen and I see how clean my house is. And when I put that on the time-frame like two hours, I think I achieved that goal. Yeah, I can do everything that way in my life and you too my dear reader!!!

Here’s the pro tip for you which I tested and heared by Tai Lopez, read a book per day, become a learning machine. Every book which you read you will find golden nuggets and those golden nuggets which are suitable for you comes from instinctual for you and will improve you. That Halvorson book says also, that and also Charles Munger in him The Poor Charlie’s Almanack that getting better; getting wiser every day. And also my drinking problem where I heard day by day-principle, and Munger also says that step by step. An idea to thinking that everything will come better everyday will help you.

Rose-Pussy

She is very own-kind-person and very sexual. And now I just thinking my life what is it at now. My home is like a cottage from middle of forest. Very silent place. It is beautiful and luxurious thing that total silence. I can read and listening books and investing myself.

And investing is all-about just that; you should investing things which are in your spots, say Charlie Munger, at him The Poor Charlie’s Almanack. which is super good book. And of course I learned a lot of Tai Lopez, which I have been recommended girls who thinking to starting to selling themselves.

Those spots are things what you know better. And you know yourself and that is it the best thing to invest. It is the thing which you know better, that is the key how you should invest and what investing all-about; like the book called The Intelligent Investor explain If you should do not know it is not investing, it is speculating. If you know and trust something, like yourself, so investing yourself is the best thing to do; and then things which gives you 10x ROI, and lot of value. And should investing things which are more valuable than price. The margin of safety and also very good ROI. I think that when I invested in dating site, that potential ROI and the true price and that margin of safety is very good cos I can change my life. If I put here 30 euros; 10eur/month. The true value of that 10 euro is more than 10 euro. I can change my life. I don’t miss any opportunities.

But yeah what comes from prices, and term called the opportunity cost. It is very interesting term. Every thing is the price; action, situation, etc.. is the price. If Rose-Pussy is something what I was looking for and I decide to met her and I fall with love in her. That is the opportunity cost. She gonna change my life if I let her my life

I get vision also with we can do together, the pussy-farm. It touched from her very deeply when I told my fantasy world to her. This the minimum valuable product, I mean like a sample; it hits on her. And sex is the one of my passions, desires. Woman Pussy is something which hits me like a poison in my veins. Maybe that The Pussy-Farm is included lot of my desires, like nature. freedom..

Mono or poly

She is poly or something like that. I am not sure myself. I know as businesswoman I need to know that, but it is super hard question. Knowing thyself. That rose-pussy is super erotic and fuck with everybody, and I am now unsure myself, it is that something what I want my life. She gives me superhot pics for her as a gift. And I recently read book by Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion; and here was giving a gift is a trap, you get owned; want you that or not it is a psychological trap. And also I purchased book by Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex; and I found thinking of that sexual philosophy thing, that am I poly or mono.. Wanting sex is not wrong at all. It is a natural thing. Life changing books both, but when I start reading sex chapter and I found that I already knew, maybe wider knowledge is in my brain what I start to read. But that philosophy is the new thing to think and maybe I find something what I don’t know. But I get super interested by sexology when I met my first wife, I read a lot and I focus 100% with that; and I found that I know a lot; I don’t to want say that I am good, but I just wanted to know everything and give her best treat and maybe I did, she said, “There is the difference..” and she spoke the different universe… She seemingly lost something. I think why I am not find more about those books coz, I’ve got the woman and I just want know everything about her body. That is enough and when you know one, you can learn all, because every body is the journey. You need just know everything on her like the sexual context. The woman is the best teacher and she know best what she want, but when you know sexology then you know little bit better but she is always the queen. If she doesn’t like, you need find what she love and use those things against on she and do those as good as possible, becoming the best lover for her.. Just like a customer, it’s all about a customer and a customer is always right, It’s all about she, not you.

I am not sure that am I more mono who want just sex with one girl at time or poly who want all.